This is.... my own label.

I  once read that our generation is a cluster of contradictions. I actually do agree. We are taught that labeling human being are consider inconsiderate. If that is so, why are we so fixated on labeling relationships?. "Label jars.. not people". We focus so much on the stage of wondering and analyzing where a relationship stands. Is it because some of us are anxious to display that we are now with a significant other? Are we keen on the idea of saying that "I am now off the market?"  or we too antsy to click that keyboard and change our facebook status from "Single" to" In a Relationship", when in reality it is really in "It's Complicated" stage? 

I never did get understand why we, female, dwell on the idea of where a relationship stand. Recently, one of the my listeners on my show "The Naked Truth" sent me a message asking when is it time to ask the guy that she is dating that if they are in fact boyfriend and girlfriend. I am an advocate of having an open communication. Whether it is with a friend or a significant other. It is always substantial that you are comfortable in asking the person that you are with where  a relationships stand and where it is heading. 

Allow me share with you my perspective on labels and relationships. I recall driving home from dinner one time with a guy friend of mine whom I spent  a tremendous amount of time with. Out of the blue, he said, "Soffi, what are we?". I do have to admit, I started to cringe when I heard what he  asked. I looked him in the eye and just laughed and said to him that it was supposed to be my job to ask where we stand in our friendship or relationship. I honestly was not sure what to say. I have never been the one to ask where a relationship stands. I have been in situations where I thought that I was simply hanging out with a man and getting to know him as a friend. When the man actually had it in his mind that we were dating. 

I love to look at situation as "It is what it is". I love the idea of just enjoying what is right in front of me without dwelling on where I stand in a person's life. A label is a label, sure we all love to be called girlfriend or boyfriend. It makes us feel important in some ways. Let's look at it this way, action speaks louder than words. I for once, would much rather feel loved that be told every single day how much he loves me. We all love the mystery and the excitement of not knowing where you stand in someone's life. If a man spends a tremendous amount of time with you. Spends his days calling you or letting you know that he is thinking of you. Making future plans to hang out with you. Letting you into his world. Including you in what is going with his life. Aren't those signs that he wants to be with you or interested in you? 

Why dwell on having a label when it is obvious that you are potentially his plus one? 

I find that once you start  referring to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, it sometimes causes a lot of pressure. Why put all that pressure on a relationship when you can simply enjoy the moment. Playing a significant role someone's life comes with great responsibilities. Think before you demand a title. Ask yourself if you really are ready to be someone's main squeeze or are you simply demanding a title because  you want to mark your territory. Do you want to be refer to as the girlfriend because of jealousy or does it actually come for the right place?  

Take pleasure in adoring each other. Don't put pressure on a man because you are trying to cure your insecurity.  Women can be a little selfish, I totally understand because I have been there. We tend to worry too much on where a relationship stands rather than allowing a man to take the lead and have him be the one to ask you to be his girlfriend.  There is nothing sweeter than knowing that  a man truly want to be with you rather than urging him to call you his girl.